What would I do

Just woke up from my 5 hour long nap and feeling crappy about it :-(  my mum would totally flip if she finds me awake now and not doing work but here blogging (I'm still hoping that she doesn't know about the existence of this..)

Well I haven't blogged in ages and I've wanted to do so since a really long time but i nvr really found a time for it/end up falling asleep :< the past few weeks have been a crazy time filled with many events and countless emotions and everything else sometimes i don't even know what i'm really feeling or doing anymore (will blog more about all these soon with photos hehe)

it's weird how i keep getting into situations that i nvr really expected myself to get into? why do awkward things keep happening and i nvr know how i'm supposed to tell these things to my friends and it often takes me a really really long time to decide that i should let my friends know and sometimes after doing so, i don't know which feeling's stronger- whether it makes me feel better or the fact that i regret saying some stuff out. okies sighpie maybe it's just me and my weird brain that's too noob for all these stuff. (but i'm really thankful for my friends who saved me in that awkward situation, you know who you are so thank you :") )

and when do we even know that we can really really trust a person and that we fully know a person? i mean everyone has their own thoughts and secrets that i'm pretty sure they have told no one right? it's weird how i can be such close friends with someone and yet there are moments that are so awkward in our friendship that i don't even know why i think this way and the next moment we are just really happy with one another or how i can be close to someone and yet there's a kind of distance between us too? okays sigh people are weird or maybe i'm the weird and awkward one

I think it's really hard keeping up with our school lives, social lives as well as sleep :(  i'm like not balancing well at all and the term's already coming to an end :((((( it's been a fulfilling term and i'm thankful for all the different concerts, events, floorball season & match support season but where does it leave me regarding my studies? i'm lagging in practically every subject i take and people are constantly complaining how they haven't done this or that and i'm like over here, ooh i haven't done this AND that and much much more stuff :< i don't even know why i'm lagging behind so badly and the only thing i'm pretty sure of is the fact that my studies are really dropping in standard (they weren't even really that high to begin with) and idk it's hard finding back the drive that i used to have???? i just feel floppy and poopy and i dislike school now :( yes there are days where school's really good but they seem to be rare nowadays :( in a way i'm not looking forward to june hols because it means i'll really have to start studying and catch up on all my work from scratch and no more excuses for myself and it's definitely gonna be a stressful period of time :< 

but anyways

HAPPY EIGHTEENTH BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAREST OG HEAD RUISHUEN AND WAIPAN (1/5 OF ENDORPHINS) <333 (if u guys ever read this haha) thankful to have u both in my life and for being my friend :")

sorry waipan i realise we don't have a solo pic tgt :(

I promise to blog more soon regarding swiss trip/outvest and everything else :)




At the end of they day I have myself to blame// I'm just trippin